My first "gig" and 3rd Month Thoughts

Remember when I slipped and joined a cover band in K-ON club? Well we had our New Members Live (concert) at a live-house in Kobe - basically my first gig.

It was a lot of fun and so neat!

The place was called live-house 108 and had a lot of awesome details. Stickers all over the metal door, mini fish tanks, anime figurines, tanabata bamboo trees, the occasional deep rattling of a train passing over us, and a patient and helpful owner with killer style and a single hoop ear piercing, making me think of the Shadowhunters/Mortal Instrument's Magnus Bane. There was also a clock that had all the numbers except 10 and 8 removed, which I found very clever, as well as an inspirational quote in English on the rafters.

I got to listen to half of the cover bands primarily filled with new members (the other half had performed the day before). Most people were amazing, especially on the instruments (though mainly the senpais in each group were the best). Also, as I've noticed in many actual Japanese bands, vocal skill isn't emphasized - there were not a lot of great singers. Of course, whenever someone sang well, they were praised and applauded - but what the audience seemed to like the most was the passion. How much emotion did someone put into their singing. There were also some killer instrument solos, including parts done by an electric violin, six-string bass, and classic electric guitar and bass. There were a lot of songs that I did not know, but they did play the most famous Fullmetal Alchemist theme song and it just made my morning.

I was too tired to be nervous, but when my friends showed up and then suddenly I had to go in the dark, narrow, under-the-stairs corridor with my fellow bandmates to prepare, I 'got real nervous real fast.' In a rush, I had energy again and butterflies and was tense, while the fellow first timers who had been saying "yabe, yabe, yabe" (basically "oh no" "ohmygods" or "crap") all morning were focused on remembering what we have all been practicing on for the entire semester.

Then, we stepped onto stage and starting adjusting instruments. When we thought we were ready, our drummer started the opening to our slow song and I froze. I had thought we were doing the fast one first and was completely confused (especially since I, the rhythm guitar, leads in the slow one). We, including the audience, laughed it off, and started again. I started strumming and it was great. We really made sure to listen to each other on that first one. Next, between our two songs, there was some audience interaction and when our vocalist handed me the mic, I froze again. We were all supposed to say our year, our major, and favorite band, but I was just so nervous and just said "I'm Alex. A study abroad student. I'm only studying here for this semester, but this has been so great, and thank you all for being nice to me" BUT I MESSED UP THE GRAMMAR AND I THINK I ACTUALLY SAID "thank you all for making me be nice" adlkfjadlkjfal. I SWEAR I SPEAK JAPANESE. I felt "I swear, I swear, I swear, I'm not the foreigner who doesn't know anything!" But time passed and we moved on. Then we played our faster song and that was even more fun. I flew through the chords and realized just how vital all that practice was. Seeing through the pseudo fog, the colorful lights changing above us and on my fingers and the neck of my borrowed guitar (which was so high quality and smooth as butter), and seeing the audience waving and pumping their hands to our song - it was surreal. Such a different experience from my light saber choreography performances, but similar in that we put so much time into it for just a few minutes. But it was so worth it.

After we performed, there were still a few bands left. Listening to everyone and just being in that atmosphere was amazing. I felt like it was the beginning of something new and that I had connected the most in that moment than at any other time before in Japan. It was a bittersweet emotion because as I was experiencing it, I was thinking how I have to leave soon. It also made me think of my club back at home and how I'm glad I didn't have to leave when that was just beginning.

There was an after-party, but I didn't go because it was expensive, I was still very tired and had a slight headache, and didn't think I'd enjoy myself. We all bowed in unison to the owner (Magnus Bane), took group photos, and some of us rode the train home together.

It was truly great.

Also, side note: thanks to my friends who came and supported me. Who filmed this great moment for me. And who threw a goya at me. Like, seriously. (Pandaman meant it as a joke, innocently asking me the day before what my least favorite vegetable is. I said goya because I just recently discovered it and it is extremely bitter though also extremely healthy and helps people get well and happy and all that. Foreshadowing: turns out it was great because I came down with a cold and my host mother excitedly made goya champloo for me to help me heal...so half sarcastic and half truthful "thanks").

This is over a week overdue, but...Third Month Thoughts!

Seeing that I spent my third month in Hiroshima, I feel like I am keeping up with my goals relatively well. Although, I'm starting to get a little tired and will not be sad when I can take a break from sightseeing. It is amazing, seeing new things and experiencing new things, but focusing on daily life and long-term goals seems really nice right about now. I know once I take too long a break from traveling, I will be yearning and itching for it, but that is why we have the concept of balance.

I've been thinking a lot about what I first did and thought and believed would happen in Japan. My mood seemed so different. Everything was new. I expected intensive studying and intimate friendships with natives. I thought I'd join a club, preferably archery or swimming or K-ON. I thought I'd be going to beaches a lot and eating more Japanese junk food. Most of these didn't happen. Though I am still as enamored with and excited by life as I was before studying abroad in Japan, I have become accustomed to life in Japan. Thought everything had that extremely new quality, when I first came, I had a sense of belonging. I really liked the culture and thought "hey, this is a good fit for me." Now that feeling has turned to familiarity and I feel very comfortable here. I have learned that Japanese colleges are very lax and have not had to do as much homework, assignments, or studying as back home (though finals are coming up and I have to study for those, of course - also, last week, when every single class wanted an essay - that was harsh). I joined K-ON and had an awesome time, but despite all my efforts and activities, I have not been able to form any close, intimate friendships with natives. I think if I had more time, I would have been able to do it - but being here only one semester means once they have finally gotten used to me and we can start bonding, I have to leave. And I think many Japanese people know this and thus don't try to get close. Also, I feel, and many people have agreed with me on this, that since Japan is still kind of isolated and their English education is not very effective, many Japanese people are nervous around foreigners. And finally, I have not eaten a lot of Japanese junk food (though lately I've been trying more think from the conbini).

Ah, the food. I may devote an entire post to it soon. I love Japanese food so much.

I feel like I have matured a bit in my time here. I want to write about it in a self-reflective way rather than an arrogant or bragging way. When I went to Hiroshima, I kind of blew up at a friend for something very trivial. We continued on our sightseeing and I was able to quickly think over my actions and realize it was irrational and over the line. I took a few minutes to cool down, and then went up to said friend and said "I'm sorry about before. That was totally uncalled for" and he replied "It was, but you're good" and we continued with our time. This experience for me was very important. I feel like a few months ago, I wouldn't have apologized, let alone apologized so quickly. If I had even realized my own irrationality, I may have been too embarrassed to apologize or try to blame it on the other person somehow in my mind. Also, I feel like if I did apologize and someone had responded the way he did, I would have gotten angry again. But he was right! And he agreed with me on it, but the important thing was that he forgave me and our relationship is okay. And in that moment, I accepted what he said. Although it wasn't a fun experience, I look back and am so happy it happened. I experienced so many different emotions in that one day, from the pure joy on the beach and under the Miyajima torii gate, to the irrational anger, and to the repentance, connection, and acceptance. It's even more important to me because I am pretty sure that who I was three or four months ago, would not have done this.

Little by little, we change throughout our lives, but we can strive and hope that it is for the better.

My personal and deep story is over. Thank you.

Here is an adorable moth and clovers from the nearby park for those who made it to the end: